Effective Listening
Do you the difference between hearing and listening? The good writer should have effective listening skills also. Do you want to know why?
Every day I have to don many hats like
- Technical writer
- Reviewer
- ScrumMaster
- Webmaster
- Blogger
- Entrepreneur
- Tele Caller
- Counceller and
- of Course Father, Husband, brother, and Son
To keep me going and do my job effectively one attributed on which I did mastery helps me to lot and that is listening. It helps me to experience the world in the better way.
In this post, I have shared a few methods of effective listening.
After reading this post you will be able to listen and grasp the words of speakers more effectively which will help you to become more sought after professional and lovable individual.
it doesn’t matter you are a content writer, technical writer, blogger or any professional. We have to collaborate, we have to interact, we have to take feedback and we have to give feedback. We can not this effectively if we don’t have the patience and art to listen other.
We face numerous challenges in our day to day life on the work, family and social arena, and if we summarize the cause behind it, the conclusion will be the lack of proper communication.
In a communication somebody says and the other listens to it, but what goes wrong is the discrepancy in presentation and perceivance between the communicators.
Listening effectively can reduce the ninety percent problems on every front we are dealing with. It can save money, time, conflict, and marriages. The problem arises when we are not able to understand what one is saying in its undiluted form, because of our preoccupied brain, lack of attention, a parallel thought running in mind, being judgemental etc.
To develop the skill of listening we need to take care of a few things, and once we learn to listen we get through the whole thought one wants to convey.
Technical writers have to listen very attentively while taking interview of subject matter expert, gathering information, taking feedback and on many occasions. So, listening is one of the key skill for technical writers in Bangalore, Pune or any part of the world.
a) Maintaining eye contact
When we listen to someone its necessary to face the speaker and maintain eye contact.
Speaking to someone who is scanning the surrounding, looking at the gadgets, is just like hitting a moving target. He is not getting even the tenth part of what is conveyed to him.
As a listener, you must be present there and an eye contact helps in better communication even if the speaker is not looking at you because it may be influenced by his background, circumstances, and hesitance to face an audience etc.
It doesn’t mean that it is always necessary to be physically present to listen effectively. A good communication encourages and increases cohesion between the communicators otherwise one would leave it when the length of communication increases.
b) Be attentive
We should be present mentally while listening, discarding out the distractions like background activities or noise.
It is also important not to focus on the speaker’s accent or mannerism because it can distract us from our focus. Side-lining your own thoughts, beliefs, and prejudice while listening will make you a good listener.
Be relaxed and focus on what is being said without adulterating it with your own thoughts.
c) Keep an open mind
Don’t criticize mentally or judge the speaker for what he is saying. If you are alarmed, feel alarmed but don’t say in mind that it was an absurd thing, because as soon as you start judging, your effectiveness of listening is compromised.
Don’t try to jump to conclusions because the speaker is speaking to represent his thoughts and feelings inside his brain which you are unaware of.
The only way to understand someone thought and a feeling are to listen.
Don’t try to interrupt and catch the sentence to complete it because you are following your own set of thoughts and the speaker’s thoughts are headed somewhere else. This will put you way off base and you will be unable to have a good understanding.
d) Wait before asking
It’s not good to interrupt abruptly, wait for the speaker to pause and then ask for any clarification.
Don’t impose your ideas or solutions.
When someone is talking about his problem doesn’t start giving solutions right away. Most people don’t need your advice. They figure out their own solutions, listen to them and help to execute the solution.
If you really have any chartbuster idea seek the speaker’s permission before delivering it.
Interrupting conveys negative messages such as ‘I am more intelligent’, ‘I don’t care what you think’, ‘this isn’t a conversation, it is a contest and I am going to win’.
e) Ask relevant questions
In a conversation don’t deviate from the topic asking irrelevant questions. This can deviate from the direction of what was being talked about.
Sometimes we get back to the topic but in most of the cases, this doesn’t happen. For example, someone is talking about the recent adventure he went through and the name of a mutual friend comes in the context and you deviate from the topic asking about him and his whereabouts, further leading to a different topic and the original conversation is left behind. In case this happens it is your responsibility to remind him to get back to the topic he was talking about.
f) Be empathetic
Try to feel the feeling of a speaker. To experience empathy put yourself in other man’s shoes and feel what it would feel if you were at his place at that moment. If you feel sad when the speaker expresses sadness, joyful when he expresses joy and fearful when he expresses fear, you are indeed an effective listener. It is a generous and helpful thing to do as it facilitates communication and increases the bond. It is not an easy thing to do as it consumes energy and concentration.
g) Give regular feedback
While a conversation gives regular feedback to the speaker to make the communication engaging. It may be through facial expressions or relevant sentences that reflect the speaker’s feeling.
This feedback gives a proof to the speaker that you are listening to what he is saying. While on a phone try to restate the message if you have to convey to someone, to ensure you heard it correctly.
h) Understand between the lines
Majority of our conversation is non-verbal while talking face to face. We understand most of the things through the facial expression, body language, the way we talk etc. even talking on the phone we understand what is not said through the tone and voice modulations of the person on the other side.
An energetic and happy tone conveys to us that the person we are talking to is all well. We can understand the humor, sarcasm, pain, happiness just by listening to the voice irrespective of what is being talked about.
i) Let us Summarize
It’s very important to summarize what you listen if the conversation is informative and about some crucial topic. Summarizing would help you recollect all the necessary information what you heard. You can thus use the information for your own purpose as you can have a better understanding of it.
If we practice these things our listening will be effective and will result in building relationship, friendship, avoiding conflicts and a better understanding of everything. Having an art of effective listening helps us to excel on professional front as we are clear about what is expected of us. We can be able to understand the point of view of others. Our personal and social life also becomes smooth as we have clarity of thoughts not only ours but others too.
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